Beams of ‘Aaah!’

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I hear My Lover saying,

‘Be mah’, Be mah’, Be mah’ servant

To me, such words are blunt.

Like, how come He’d say that?


I hear My Master saying,

‘You don’t have to  Be mah’

‘Be mah’, Be mah’, Be mah bride.

You already are, my wife.’


I hear the Knight sayin’,

“Be mah’, be mah’ guest sleepin’…”

“Be mah’, be mah’ guest swingin’…”


And I see the guest swingin’

Singin’ “be mah, be mah, be mah moon”

“Be mah, be mah, Manila Vanilla soon”


And I hear the drop of the spoon.

Chiming “be mah, be mah, be mah mouth soon…”

“Be mah, be mah, be mah holder tomorrow noon.”


Good Lord, can no longer hear

“Be mah, be mah, be mah bride…”

And I’m sayin’ “diss mah, diss mah, diss mah pride…”


“Subside!” I hear. And “hear!” I say:

“Be mah, be mah, be mah hole on the side…”

“Be mah, be mah pole when I slide…”


Tonight. Tomorrow afternoon I hear ‘em say…

“Be mah, be mah… be-ah stupid friend…”

Bounce back, he says, “be mah, be… mah gosh! Pray this won’t end!”


I hear my Knight saying,

‘‘Be mah’, Be mah’, Be mah’ protectorate!

‘Be mah’, Be mah’, Be mah’ left-hand killah!’


I hear HIM sayin,

“I’m with yah, empowering you with mah love;

Until you hear me sayin’,

‘Well done! Good and faithful servant!”

The Beautiful Havoc

(Mieux que la Vie)

Succumbing to the reverie,
Masking the oblivion,
Bracing to fight the alluring voice,
Ignoring the noises of vanquished choices-
I, then wrestled to that Voice yelling in the quiet!

Yet what voice
Are we struggling against?
Is it longing? Desire?
Passion mistaken
As sins?
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Woe to me,
I’ve been deemed a victor.
For long, I’ve been my own rival.
The fiercest enemy is not any voice-
It’s the choice that centers on self?
Am I bound to doom?

To doom!
To the farthest region of void!
To death! To destruction!
To the blindness of the Soul!
And the weakness of Self!
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To be destroyed
Without,
Is horrifying!
To be destroyed
Within,
Is a terror by itself!
 

Oh the reveries had ceased.
The oblivion o’er powered bliss!
It felt like heels of Achilles.
But, the wrestling has passed
The struggle has ended.
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The surrounding waves,
An echoing invitation.
Afar from the land-
The land where I belong
 
I embraced the depth
Of that which has turned unknown.
Falling and falling
Until the hum of a stronger voice, I heard.

The doom had once
Crushed my every bone,
Cracking like wood in fire
Until it’s dust, until it’s snow.


But the voice I heard,
It gushed like water.
The doom of a body like skeleton, afloat!
The thousand wringing voices in me, to be heard never!
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Just when I thought
My end is doom,
I’m still betrothed to My Groom.
Ode to the Strong Me! Yea to my Scorners!
His love is my power
Over my sweetest weakness

Carpe Diem!
Tis the season
To concede to that voice-
Smaller than any, majestic in power,
That’s the voice of My Beloved!

I once let go of thine hand!
Shouting like bereaved,
As I thought I was falling.
But, you’re holding my arm with Love

And now,
As the light of my years
Slowly dim my eyes
And the grasp of the Cold
Encroaches my senses,
Neither Death
Nor Doom
Shall leave me trembled.

You
Who have breathed
Fire
Into Being,
Embrace me now
In the light of your Love.
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Denoument

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The soldier was tired
That she took a slumber.
Fighting in her sleep,
She never ever slept.

The soldier was held and carried
By her Leader and Commander in Chief,
After getting wounded by the bandit.
After lowering her wall's limit.

She knew it was Him.
Before being sent to the field,
The soldier who led many captives
Is foremost is a princess of The King.

And so, she recalled her desire
To see her Father's big smile,
That she did all things for love
To glorify Him who is there up-above.

'No doubt or questions asked
Will ever hold me back from love-
The fuel to thrive here on the field
For the purpose of Him who forever lives.'

That's what she told herself
Knowing the life she left-
A scavenging orphan is what she was
Until The Son wooed her by His blood.

I am a Princess and a Fighter
Loved and covered by The Father.
And, if at times, I would retreat.
I run to Him in my defeat.

With Him, I am fully equipped.
His promises are what I keep.
I'm now awake from this 'sleep'.
For the battle is not mine but HIS,
It is won, It is finished.


Mon Amant Ravive

Response to John 1:19-28images.jpg

How do I see myself?
Of everything I've heard,
Which are not true of me?
Who I really am in the sight of Thee

In what aspects of life,
Do I regard myself highly,
When I am supposed to be lowly?
What does it take to see Your Majesty?

Why do I do all that I do?
Were they to please Only You?
If Your answer to this is ,'No.',
Whatever it takes, make me love You so

Surely, Yours alone is the honor.
But, parts of me have been in horror
To welcome selfish reign and false saviors,
To this heart that You lived and died for.

I hear Your voice and gentle knock,
As You didn't leave nor kick me out of the flock.
You never stopped nor hasten Your work.
You'll perfect what You started til You're back.

Until then, would You please help me?
Fix these eyes only to Thee
To ever desire to gaze Your beauty,
And, make You known to everybody.

If I am cold, lit up the fire
To warm my heart that easily tires.
When around me are dazzling lights,
Show me Yourself who is my life.

My Will In My Lifetime

This was written in my response to John 1:1-18 during my 
devotion last 01/12/16

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I will know YOU!
I will not be contented
Of just calling Your Name
Or knowing where You're from.

Yeah! My Dear, I will know You
I will never settle with all these-
The things about You and your friends.
This one life will be consumed knowing You.

I will know no one but You.
For not one is like You.
Nah-ah! I won't just watch what You do.
Nothing is better than knowing You.

Of all my prayers and request
There's only one I'd call The Best-
To lavish on the love I can't fathom
Here on earth 'til Your Kingdom come

Silence me with Your kiss
Mold me to The One with whom Your'e pleased.
As I hear your every heart beat,
Let all that grieve You in me be dead.

I will know You
With that, a day is not enough nor a forever.
I will love co'z I'm beloved by my soul's Lover,
You who will make Yourself known to me, Your own
Your own who will know You.

The Life That HE Brews

(Cheers to the year that was and to the year that will be)

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I entered 2015 in my 25th year on earth. If I am to live a hundred years, it’s my quarter life. I define the stage as the impertinence of meaning related questions-queries about the long term implications of things because such never left my mind. Nevertheless, the greatest thing I’ve learned is that I knew little of things I ought to know. That knowledge brought me back to scratch and see new promising beginnings.

 REGAINED PERSPECTIVES

Our greatest fear should not be of failure,                                                                                But at succeeding at something that doesn’t really matter.

-DL Moody

Knowing so little seemed to slow me down. I had to seriously stop from all things I’ve been used to and distance myself from people and thins I’ve been attached to, upon realizing- I’ve gone so aimless that I may end up winning at things that doesn’t really matter to me. It was not in my intention to get sick, be far from friends and let go of a good source of income and all intentionally. Out of all that, I decided to abandon the place where I was onset of the year that was. I didn’t know any better option. I lost two loved ones in a month where flowers bloom, right after resigning. My sister had to resign also from work. I refused to call ‘suffering’ as God’s will. But He let that season take place at that time. Prior to that time, everything around me looked easy except my numb heart. The year that was didn’t started so hard but it revealed hardened parts of my heart. It just took such circumstances to have my heart refined. The station of grieving is where HIS comfort, peace and love abound the most. It is where I felt undergoing a major heart surgery. It’s a reminder that He who began a good work in me will bring it to completion until His second coming (Philippians 1:3).

I wandered and learned that the beauty in it is in knowing someone, who Himself is Love found me. The deaths that happened in my family made me see my family gradually set free from bondages that bonded the clan for ages. Those losses made me more time-conscious. Life is too short to waste. The greatness of a life is never on how long it is but how well it was spent. I learned that ‘Why?’- is the most lame question one can ask God, but even if he doesn’t have to answer us- He listens. Looking back at my ‘Bakit List’ (Why List) I am humbled before such a Sovereign and loving God.

PARADOX OF FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT

To know principles of financial management is one thing, to apply them is another. It’s funny how I was able to save after getting out of a higher paying job. Imagine, I’ve known budgeting, saving and investing for years. But, it looked like I’ve only known spending since time immemorial. I am always nudged by Parable of the Talents in my quiet times during the year that was. Money management books, financial stewardship seminars, plus grace and wisdom from the Owner of all things helped me to be a better manager of His resources.

It’s hard to believe that after a long while of being an expert in splurging, I managed to budget my income daily and monthly, track my daily expenses, save and do away with so much of my wants that I don’t really need. It was never easy but God made it possible.

HEART’S CONFESSIONS

Hello 2016! I am already 26 years old! Come on self! Are you about Jesus just to be well founded when you found the one? It looks like it, to be honest. Although, I sincerely desire to be about Him with all I am…, I just have this bitter side of reality. Right now, it’s almost an hour before the second day of January arrive, and it feels good to be honest! I am honest, I need to be healed by Him from the core. I am encouraged by what Elisabeth Elliot said:

The fact that I am a woman doesn’t make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I am a Christian makes me a different kind of woman.’

With that being said, having a relationship with Christ will not exempt me with temptations regarding my biological clock, social pressures and my own personal weakness in flesh. If I have not disobeyed the 614 rule or take the possibility of serving HIM solo lightly- it was a product of telling HIM the things HE already knew like my feelings, infirmities and worries. Let me end this confession this verse that has proven itself true to me last year, and will surely be true this year until HE comes:

‘For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-yet he did not sin.

Let us approach God’s throne with confidence,

 so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.’

-Hebrew 4:15-16

(Full article about heart confessions from 2015 is found at a separate article)

 

DOORS TO SERVICE

Stewardship became so much of a big deal to me last 2015. I became more conscious of how am I spending my talents. Mathew 25 became a month long devotion; And ‘The Parable of the Sheep and The Goats’ spur me to live by who I am- a sheep who has redeemed by The Shepherd. I decided   that I will look at what I have and make the most of them in serving. I had the luxury of time as a part-time ESL teacher in Taguig, thus, the rest of my time was spent in certain activities of True Love Waits. I was amazed being in the Campus again for sometime and the slum one time. I didn’t have so much money but God blessed me with so much friends. Before the year ended, I was enabled to mobilize my friends to contribute time, talent and treasures for the people torn by Nona in Oriental Mindoro.

I cannot start a thing nor sustain it apart from Christ.(John 15:4) Upon reading Mark 14:1-9, I thought of having a campaign ‘Ala-eh bottle Jar’ which aims to generate fund to help send deserving Bajao youth in Batangas to school. Why should I do it? The answer is a simple ‘Why not?’ I have a God that opens doors that no one can shut and shuts doors that no one can open.(Revelations 3:7)

 

 The gifts of the year that was makes me excited of this new-year. To brew my best year yet this 2016, requires me to yield all things to Christ completely. Hard work is a response of gratitude to His faithfulness. By His grace, I will work smart. I only have one life to spend. I don’t own 2016 or vice versa but I’ll manage it the best that I can. I will let God brew this year, so that when people take a sip of my life they will know the difference of a life He brews.